


Forget all the shooting stars and all the silver moons. We've been making shades of purple out of red and blue.

by oathkeptroxas



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Heart-to-Heart, Insecurity, Secret Relationship, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 05:07:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9704255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oathkeptroxas/pseuds/oathkeptroxas
Summary: Keith returns, battered and bruised, with the newfound knowledge that he's Galra.He's frightened and full of doubt, and he really doesn't want his boyfriend to leave him.





	

Everything ached, his body was battered and bruised past any point of physical exertion he’d ever achieved before. He’d gone looking for answers, but left with only more questions. His ribs hurt when he breathed in too deep and it was impossible to find a comfortable position. His eyes were locked onto the large Galra blade at the foot of the bed.

  


It had seemed so important to learn the truth of it, to understand a little something about who he was. That knife had been a constant, something of his parents that he’d carried around ever since he’d lost them. He didn’t have a family the way the others did, didn’t have anyone waiting on his return. He could get obliterated in outer space and not a single soul would miss him. He needed know if there was more for him out there, needed to know if there was truly a place he belonged. But now, he wished he’d never found out.

  


He hitched a breath in as he gingerly reached out to grasp the handle of the sword, he cautiously swung his body around to sit on the edge of the bed. He stared down at the Galran sigil at the base of the blade, he’d studied it for so long, believing that it held the key to his past, the truth of his history. He hadn’t known about Galra, or Altea, or Voltron. He’d only known that this knife had been his parents before his, and they had preserved it for a reason. He’d studied hieroglyphics and languages of main cultures and time period, in search of it’s origin. But, no earthly archive had been of any use.

  


The hiss of his door had him looking up. Lance was framed in the entryway, looking at him with a disappointed downward turn of his mouth, but there was a fondness in his gaze. Keith knew that his boyfriend was still angry at him for his earlier stunt, but Lance couldn’t be too hard on him when he was still so banged up. “If you keep staring at that thing you’ll drive yourself crazy,” Lance murmured as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

  


Keith merely shrugged and sucked a breath in at the pain the motion caused him. Lance sighed, his face conveying his obvious worry. “Keith, you should be resting,” He reminded gently.

  


“I can’t. I’m too keyed up right now. My body is exhausted but….but my mind won’t give me peace.” He admitted, giving a little sigh of his own as he tightened his grip on the sword.

  


Lance ghosted a tender caress across Keith’s temple, before smoothing his fingers through the other boy’s hair. “You wanna talk about it?” He asked softly.

  


Keith closed his eyes. It was difficult for him to process the fact that there were people around now who cared for his wellbeing. Lance was perfect, and though they had yet to share the true nature of their relationship with their teammates, everything was peaceful when they were alone, like they’d always been this way. They weren’t ready to share it with the others, Lance was still coming to terms with the fact he wasn’t quite as straight as he’d thought, and whilst Keith had known he was gay for quite some time, it had been years since he’d had something that was  _ just his _ , and he wanted to keep this to himself for a little while longer. He wasn’t ready to share, wasn’t very good at it.

“Allura won’t even look at me,” Keith whispered, as if the words pained him.

  


“Just give her time...it’s a lot to process.” Lance tried to placate, but he knew there was no way he could promise that Allura would have a change of heart. He couldn’t imagine how difficult it must be for her.

  


“I...I was afraid that-” Keith started brokenly, “I was afraid that  _ you _ ...wouldn’t be able to look at me.” He scoffed a little self deprecatingly. “Right now, I can’t even look at  _ myself _ .”

  


Lance sat beside him, he laid a warm palm down on Keith’s thigh, too afraid to touch too much or jostle him in case he irritated his boyfriend’s wounds. He sighed and gave Keith an imploring stare. “Don’t think I’m letting you off easy for that stunt you pulled. It was reckless and selfish and  _ stupid _ . But, Keith, I knew exactly who you were before this all happened. I know you.”

  


“I thought Allura did, too.” Keith whispered.

  


“She does. She’s just hurting right now. I mean, I get why she’s giving you the cold shoulder, but she hasn’t stopped to think about how this is all affecting you.” Lance smiled at him softly.

  


“This isn’t about how I feel.” Keith insisted, his fisted clenching where they still grasped the weapon. Lance curled his fingers around Keith’s, waited until the other boy relaxed his hold. He took the blade from him and set it aside, taking his boyfriend’s hands in his own. 

  


“Of course it is,” Lance began, squeezing Keith’s fingers gently. “Keith, you learnt something pretty huge, okay? There’s so much we still don’t know about all this, and up until recently we believed all the Galra were evil, I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now…”

  


Keith’s breath stuttered and he closed his eyes as they began to tear up. “What if...What if there’s a part of me….something I tapped into when I unlocked that blade...what if I become something else? Something I don’t wanna be? What then?”

  


“Hey,” Lance beseeched softly. His heart twinged painful and hot in his chest as he saw the gathering moisture in his boyfriend’s eyes. “Hey, look at me.”

  


Keith hesitantly turned his face up to meet Lance’s gaze. Lance gave him a shaky smile and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Nothing is going to happen.”

  


“You can’t know that!” Keith refuted, a thread of steel snaking through his tone.

  


“ _ I know you _ . I know that it’s something you’re worried about, something you don’t want.  _ If _ something happens, we’ll fight it. And we’ll win.” Lance vowed, his eyes full of compassion.

  


“I just...I wanted to know...I needed to understand and I-” Keith broke off, hanging his head as he stubbornly held his tears at bay.

  


“You could’ve died. Do you have any idea what that was like for me? To know that you were willing to throw your life away? That I might never have seen you again and no one would’ve even known what you meant to me?” Lance took a steadying breath. “It was selfish, Keith. All the times you’ve gotten on my back, or Pidge’s, about missing home, about needing to focus on the team. And you go and do a thing like that? You throw your life into the hands of some guys you don’t know for the sake of what? Was it worth it?” Lance’s voice was a little harder, his frustration and anger from earlier in the day bleeding into his words.

  


“I know, I’m-I’m sorry, I just-....” He sighed. “You don’t know what it’s like, okay? I’m not like you. There’s no one waiting for me.  _ This _ is my home.  _ This _ is my family.  _ This _ is all I have: Voltron, being the red paladin. And-...when you guys talk about wanting to be somewhere else, it just….it just reminds me that there’s nothing else out there for me. So, when I realized that the Blade of Marmora might know something, might give me something. I just-....I-I had to know.”  Keith’s damp eyes traced over Lance’s features, begging him to understand.

  


“And was it worth it?” He asked again, softer this time. His fingers began a rhythmic and gentle caress through Keith’s hair.

  


One tear feel from Keith’s eye finally, followed by another, and another. His breath hitched in and he shook his head ever so slightly. “I have more questions now than ever, and the only family I have left now have a reason to distrust me,” Keith tried to quell his sobs, hated to be vulnerable this way. “I can’t lose people again, Lance. I tried to find out who I was and I just lost myself instead.” His fists clenched tightly where they rested on his thighs. He hated this, he hated that he felt like his existence was imploding and it was all his fault. It was twisted and merciless that he’d gone looking for solace and had his entire sense of self dismantled.

  


Lance cupped his face tenderly, he locked their eyes for a prolonged moment before leaning in to touch the tip of his nose to Keith’s. “You could never lose yourself. You’re right where you’re supposed to be: with Voltron. With me.”

  


“I don’t even know how Galra I am, how many generations the Galra blood goes back. But...my dad said my mother gave him the knife. I-...I don’t remember her, and if she was Galra...was she...one of them? One of the bad ones? Why did she leave me on Earth? Was I-...Was I not enough…. to get her to  _ stay _ ?” Keith rambled, so many thoughts whirling inside his head all at once, overlapping with no hope of reprieve.

  


“Keith, breathe. It’s okay. You’re tired. You’re hurt. You need to rest. There’s nothing any of us can do about this now,” Lance tried to comfort, speaking in low, soothing tones that resonated with the part of Keith that was yearning for sleep.

  


“Stay,” Keith nearly pleaded. He really didn’t want to be alone tonight, just the thought of it had anxiety coiling in his gut.

  
And as Lance curled around him on the small bed, and placed a kiss behind his ear, he whispered, “There’s no place I’d rather be.”


End file.
